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How learning a new love language makes all the difference.


How learning a new love language makes all the difference.

Christa Hesselink

(This post is adapted from Christa's new book, Life's Great Dare officially launching March 31. You can buy your book here now!)

Recently, I’ve begun to take God at his word when he describes himself as Love.  

I had too.

I was starting to wonder if God and I were speaking a different language. It was as if the words between us always got jumbled. I would read scripture and hear people say that God loved me, but I could never feel it.  I was desperate to feel this love in my heart instead of just knowing it in my head.  Have you been there?  

Have you every wondered what God’s love language is?  Ever felt like you were waiting for God to break into your every-day ordinary life and show you his love in tangible ways?

I’m wondering if you’re like me and need to learn a new language—God’s love language.

Consider this:  What if God is showing us how much he loves us through every single created thing? What if God creates and sustains all of creation, not only to show his power, but also to show you and me his love?

The grapefruit and gravity, taste buds and the tadpole—everything exists because of love. Eyeballs and irises, music and marshmallows—every single thing is a gift saturated in God’s love for you and me because the very essence of God is love.

Could a cloudless, star-studded night be more about God showing us how much he loves us than a display of his awesome power?

Or what about the intricate and fanciful design of a flower? Could the patterns and colors, the texture and the scent of every flower be a way God communicates his love to me instead of just showing his creativity?

I think the advice we hear in Scripture is helpful: “Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy, think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8) We’re to think about such things because this is where God’s love dwells – this is where peace and joy are to be felt.

God’s love language is a romantic one and as I train myself to see I’m living in a world overflowing with Love, it doesn’t take long to feel like I’m soaking in it.

 You and I are being drenched in Love every day. Maybe I should mark the moments.

Maybe the things I recognize as beautiful and good, lovely and honorable are actually the frequency through which God communicates his deep love.  

Perhaps it’s time for us to tune into the hum of Love all around and everywhere. Could waking up to this truest reality actually make a radical difference in my life? Yours?

what does love look like?

  • When the sky is dancing with color and the hues that form makes you stop and stare.
  • When autumn leaves have turned such a brilliant red that you wonder if you’re having a “Moses moment” and are standing on holy ground.
  • When you hear a song that moves you to tears. When you walk into a room and a delicious scent guides your memory to years long past.
  • When you take that first bite and doubt that anything could ever taste more perfect.
  • When you’re sitting around the table among friends and settle deep within yourself.
  • When a little one jumps up on your lap and squeezes your neck with squeals of delight.
  • When your sports hero moves elegantly and effortlessly, and you are lost for words.
  • When the timing of something is so beyond coincidence that it makes your heart leap.
  • When the crackle of a fire conjures up memories of good times by the lake.
  • When you catch the eye of a friend and laugh so hard your tears become sweet medicine.

Every. Single. Thing. We are drowning in love.

It feels too good to be true doesn’t it? But don’t you need your God to be that over-the-top? I know I do.

I’m getting more proficient at this new love language, but I’ve got to be honest: there are many days when I feel like a novice. Too often I forget that God’s love for me is saturating the world, and I resort back to tamer, thimble-sized versions of his love for me. It’s usually in those moments I start to wonder if I should trust him with all the parts of my life, especially the ones I like to control the most.

People often say they know they’ve hit the next level of learning a new language when they start dreaming in it. I think this is true for God’s love language too. God wants to change us from the inside out so we become perfectly fluent in his over-the-top love for us. He’s helping us learn this language of love so it becomes so natural that we can communicate without being tongue-tied.

He’s mending what is broken, healing what is hurt and bringing light into those dark places so that I don’t need any translation to understand that I am secure and wholly loved.


God isn’t in the business of transformation because of duty. He’s motivated by big, bold love and we’re soaking in it whether we feel it or not.  I can’t imagine anything more beautiful and abundant than that.

Order Life's Great Dare Here or get a sample of the book below